Ever since I’ve started talking more about our eldest daughter’s neuro-psych assessment, I’ve had many conversations with other parents about their kids and whether or not they should spring for the same type of evaluation.
Often, the hesitation is about the child being labeled; about the stigma of a diagnosis. Perhaps there is fear that the school will be uncooperative. And there’s that underlying and very human dread which says, “If you ignore it, maybe it will go away.” We all know this is a lie, but sometimes it causes us to second guess our best wisdom.
So here was my most recent response to someone wondering about Executive Function Disorder (EFD), which is the deficit part of Sophia’s 2e diagnosis:
For us, it was an incredible relief to have a qualified person tell us, “Your daughter’s brain works differently and has these deficits that make your/her existence so difficult. It’s not because she’s a brat or you’re bad parents.”
Executive function is such a toughie because it really is almost indistinguishable from “bad behavior” or disobedience. From an outsider’s perspective, your kid is just uncontrolled.
Having the evaluation helped me and Leslie have so much more patience and compassion with her.
It’s like realizing you’ve been shouting at someone with no legs to “Just STAND UP!! Why are you disobeying me? Watch, I’m standing up; it’s easy - now you do it. STAND UP!”
And all the while, our sweet baby is having a meltdown because she can’t articulate her leglessness.
To further the metaphor, having the evaluation done will help you get your kid some crutches.