Hey Laura, What...?

Allie emailed me last week, at her wit’s end with chronic sleep deprivation and I pounded out a quick response. She’s given me permission to reprint our exchange (edited a bit for readability and extra things I thought of since) in case it can help anyone else out there!

Basically, we are having a tough time with Noey’s sleeping. Common problem, I know, but it is really difficult to know what to do. She is almost a year old, on Monday, and right now she takes naps and sleeps on a futon in her room. Until a month ago we all slept in the same king size bed. I sleep with her at night, my husband sleeps on our king size bed alone. She wakes up about 5 times a night. I am sleeping with her on...

Oh, you know me! I always have something helpful to say!

This post is actually from my personal letter archives. I wrote most of it after my first was born (nearly 5 years ago!) and have tinkered with it each time I’ve sent it to friends who are expecting. Since I have a bunch of friends who are having babies this summer, I’m editing it a bit to reflect my (much more positive) experience with my second born, and adding links to other useful posts I have on HLW. Enjoy!

Advice to New Parents

The most important advice I can give you: Parenting this child is going to be a unique experience, and while other people’s advice might be useful, it is not the Law. Sift through everything and keep...

I wrote this piece about 3 years ago, when I was in the thick of it with my firstborn. Now that I’m on the verge of walking through this same jungle with number two, I am scrambling to remember all my toddler management tricks!

I’m using my child’s online pseudonym here. I know that in this day and age there is really no such thing as privacy, but I do try to maintain a little obscurity so we’re not so entirely Google-able! Thanks for helping me maintain that, friends.


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Just about everything I do in my day-to-day dealings with Roo is based on what I learned as the Project Manager of the small web marketing and advertising company we were a part of in southern...

Tonight, I’m hosting a get-together with some local moms to talk about Intentional Parenting. I love to geek out about all things child-rearing and discipline, so I’m pretty excited!

If you’re interested, I will post some of my thoughts and notes on the meetup. Just leave me a comment if you want to hear more!

In the mean time, here is some non-HLW material. As with anything, just glean what works for you and leave the rest behind!

Books
I’m not a huge fan of “Parenting Self-Help” books, but these books have some very inspiring ideas and some only made me want to toss them at the wall a couple of times. I owe Moxie a big hat tip, as her wonderful parenting advice blog has been my...

I’ve been dealing with a pretty snotty attitude from my 4.5 year old daughter lately, and all the tools in my parenting toolbox have been ineffective in dealing with it so far.

The parenting philosophy we adhere to in my home is very deliberate. We aim for more than behavior control; we are shaping them all along into well-adjusted adults.

So, as much as I just want to stifle her; tell her not to speak at all on days when every other word that comes out of her mouth is rude and disrespectful, that’s not a good long term solution.

I need to train her into good habits of speech and conduct.

Some people believe this age is the foreshadowing of the teenage years, and then write off any...

My friend Heidi blogged an excellent piece called: On Picky Eaters: How to Develop a Sense of Food Adventure.

I immediately emailed her and asked her if I could link to it. It’s like Heidi did my work for me today (which is lucky, since I’m still overwhelmed with unpacking boxes in my new house!); I couldn’t agree with her more, and am pleased that she agreed to let me share this article with you. Her family feeding guide is a great addition to my other kid-and-food related stuff.

My thoughts
Practices at my house are very similar to Heidi’s, although we are big-time snackers here. My 4.5 year old is very sensitive to blood sugar fluctuations, so I make sure she has a nibble of something...

Brandi writes:

My 4 yr old, Ryan, has been night time potty trained for about 6 months now.  Unfortunately, we’ve had a pretty big set back in the last month (not-so coincidentally, it started right around the time my second son was born) and Ryan is now wetting the bed every night—sometimes twice in one night!  I am completely frustrated and sick of washing bedding EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!  The rational side of me says that it’s probably related to the new baby.  However, the sleep deprived, new-baby-in-the-house-who-nurses-all-night-long side of me is starting to lose it!  What can I do to get Ryan back on track?  We wake him each night around 10:30 to use the bathroom, but he’s still having...

HVW writes:

My son is 18 months old and nurses 4-5 times a day, and seems to be in the process of cutting back on his daytime nursing in the past few months. My husband and I are tentatively planning to try for #2 starting in the next few weeks. My son was conceived on the first “try” but you never know how long it will take. My goal is to nurse my first son for at least 2 years, although at this age I do not mind if I end up having to supplement some with cow’s milk or other dairy products (he does eat cheese at this time but I don’t give him cow’s milk).

I know that often pregnancy reduces or dries up milk supply. I have seen a variety of data on how many women do lose their milk supply...

“Frustrated Friend” writes:

We have some great friends, we, the wives get along. The hubbies get along…

The kids - not so much!

My friends have the most aggressive, undisciplined little hellion I have ever met. Her son is mean and a total bully to both of my sons. He hits, pushes, bites, break toys and on top he YELLS EVERYTHING. This kid has no filter to good, bad, polite or impolite.  I have hinted that he plays rough, asked him to play nicely, even separated my son and him and put them in two different spaces of the house.

How do I tell her that her son is a bully without alienating her and ruining our friendship?

Good couple friends are hard to come by, but truly priceless is when...

Guilt-ridden writes:

How do you balance being on the computer with being an attentive parent?  And then add in that I work almost full time and am a full time college student and there’s just not enough time in the day!

When I come home from work I just want to sit and veg out on the computer for a little while.  My husband’s the same way.  We both feel like we’re ignoring our daughter, but waiting until after she goes to bed (around 9pm) doesn’t seem plausible either.  HELP?!  How do we play with her as much as she needs it but still get our much needed PC/break time?

As any parent knows, kids require so much attention, especially in the early years. It can feel like you are being...